FEELINGS

What are feelings? Emotions? Sweet revenge? Pent up anger ? Self loathing? Self gratifying? Self destruction? Are they what drives our lives? Are they a mirror of what we think we are? Or are they what we all wish we could be? Feelings..they get hurt so easy, they can make our lives beautiful, or they can make our lives miserable. Something to think about.. Feelings...

Sonnet for the Day...

Sonnet 30 When to the sessions of sweet silent thought When to the sessions of sweet silent thoughtI summon up remembrance of things past, I sigh the lack of many a thing I sought, And with old woes new wail my dear time's waste: Then can I drown an eye, unused to flow, For precious friends hid in death's dateless night, And weep afresh love's long since cancell'd woe,And moan the expense of many a vanish'd sight: Then can I grieve at grievances foregone,And heavily from woe to woe tell o'erThe sad account of fore-bemoaned moan, Which I new pay as if not paid before.But if the while I think on thee, dear friend,All losses are restored and sorrows end.

Thought For The day...

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments> that take our breath away.

My Weekly Inspiring email:

The following is an weekly email that my sister in law sends to me, she is full of inspiring stories, this one happens to be about my husband: Good morning, All. Happy Monday. I recounted this long-forgotten story over dinner with a friend this weekend. The recollection tickled me such that I wanted to share it with all of you. I hope it will serve as an example of the true power each of us has to make those in power responsible to us..."the masses". I was probably 9 years old -- that would make my baby brother about 6, almost 7. We were piled up in front of the tv one Saturday morning when a Wrigley Spearmint Gum commercial came on. A man is standing on the edge of a mountain, a breathtaking view of big sky and rolling hills carpeted with majestic evergreens before him. As he strapped into his hang-glider, he pulled a piece of gum from a pack, opened the shiny silver paper, and folded the gum sensuously onto his tongue. Then, with a new determination to highten the experience, he grabbed the bar and sailed off into the postcard-worthy wilderness...musically accompanied by some "chew our gum" drivel. And the tiny little voice beside me exploded "Daddy! Did that man throw his gum wrapper on the ground?!! Mommy said we can't do that. It makes the world ugly!" little brothers are so stupid. this is tv dumdum head. Hang-gliders aren't real, and you are stupid. uuggghhhh... shut up! Scooby Doo is back on!!!! And my father said..."I don't know, son. Maybe you should write a letter to the president of that company and ask him that question!" "I will!" was the little pain-in-the-asses response. And yes, my friends, he did. My parents made some calls, found out the name of the executives that ran the show at Wrigley, and I watched as my brother proudly affixed a stamp crookedly to the corner of an envelope, holding the letter -- in his own words -- and 1st-grade handwriting -- that would ask a corner-office executive in a $1000 suit to explain himself to a child. "I might want to visit that mountain some day, mister," the jagged handwriting commented, "Will I see gum wrappers all over it? My mommy says that's not right. My daddy said to ask you." And in the mailbox it went...like so many letters to Santa and the Tooth Fairy. That kid is so STUPID! Like that guy is going to actually ANSWER you!!! Whatever -- you dumb little dum dum head. But he did. Two, three weeks later, a letter arrived for M -- the six-year-old dum-dum head. From some executive vice president whoever....in response to his correspondence. And no, it wasn't a form letter. And no, it wasn't condescending. And yes, it answered the question ... (and no, they didn't litter -- it was a studio shot -- the backdrop was fake.) AND....for being the socially responsible, courageous young man he was, my dum-dum-head smelly little brother got coupons for about three years worth of Wrigley gum....because they "appreciate future customers like him." Rock on, little man. Speak your mind. Reminds me of a George Strait song from the early 80's entitled: You've got to Stand for Something. : "You've got to stand for something, Or you'll fall for anything You've got to be your own man, Not a puppet on a string. Never compromise what's right, And uphold your family name. You've got to stand for something......or you'll fall for anything." -- We all have the power. Some have the courage. Speak.

Quote for the Day..

Life’s uncertain voyage. Quote Act v. Sc. 1.

I ran over a foot marker

Just when I think my life isnt interesting enough.. So there I was driving to Bellville yesterday, I wanted to stop by the cemetery to visit my grandmother's grave. I missed her so much and since I was passing through, why not stop by. I get into Bellville, I cant find the cemetery- ooh I should have known, so I called my aunt, got directions and proceeded to the cemetery. Now mind you, my grandmother was one of a kind.. She was never afraid to speak her mind, and she loved me and believed in me like no other person on this earth. I can remember us jumping into her huge Cadillac when I was learing how to drive.. We would take off down the country road she lived off of. She would have to keep telling me to go faster.. We would laugh, I don't know why that's one of my vivid memories of her, that day in paticular stands out in my mind. The wind coming in the car, the radio on, the dirt flying on the car from the road, me trying to navigate the boat she called a car, and her telling me- come on pick it up!!!I didn't realize at the time that she was very very ill. My grandmother died of cancer a few months later at the age of 54. We where all devastated. My mom was grief stricken, and I was pissed that she was gone. About a week after the funeral, my mom took me and my little sister to the cemetery, now my grandmother knew that my mom didn't deal well with people passing. We where all there, my mom uneasy the entire time, she just wanted to go.. So, all the sudden the bee's came. My mom the very allergic to bee's, she had to run back to the car, with all of us laughing at her..We all just figured it was Granny's way of letting her leave..Back to yesterday- I was really really sad yesterday, going to a cemetery isn't something I do often, for some reason, I just had to go yesterday. So, at this place, there are grass drives between the sections of plots. Ok, so I pass where I think I need to go, I go to turn into the grass drive, and WAM !!!! I ran over a small granite stone. I heard a noise , backed up and got out of the car, and about had a heart attack .. Oh my god !!! What the hell am I going to do, it was totally pushed out of the ground ! I didnt at this point, know weather to laugh or cry. Thank god, no one else was there. I just moved the truck ( off of the stone ), got out and went to her grave. I talked to her for a little while, then I was ok, I figured she new I needed a laugh. Now don't get me wrong, I don't think its funny to run over foot stones, but hey, what the hell else was I gonna do? So, I gathered my composure, went over to the stone, and put it back the best I could. (Laughing a little ). So, I immediately call my mom. Well mom- guess what- What ? she says- Granny hasn't lost her since of humor- I proceed to tell her what happened- THEN- later that nite my sister calls- I tell her the story, what does my sister say- I can picture it- a family comes to visit there loved one- " Look daddy someone ran over grandma's foot stone !! " AUHHH if I didn't feel bad enough. Oh well..my life... It's never dull ... Thanks for the laugh Granny- I love you and miss you very much.

Quote for the Day..

"This is the short and the long of it". Merry Wives of Windsor ( Quote Act II, Scene II).

Battle of the Wills

I just want to start by saying to my stepmother- I admire you more and more everyday. Being a stepmom has been such a hard transition for me. I think because her "incubator " is such a unfit mother. And the fact that I nurture and care for this child while her "incubator" lives off of the state. I believe her "incubator" is a product of her environment- I have met her mother ( trust me ). This woman cannot even read or write past a 3rd grade level. Do I feel sorry for her? humm no. Do I loathe her.. humm no, surprisingly I don't. She has given me a gift. Although she doesn't know it.Enough of that subject.. lets move on to THE BATTLE OF THE WILLS - Sooo- Monday's are pretty routine at my house, everyone is tired ( especially a little girl I know ). I got her up, and the battle was on.. She came out of her room in a pink skirt, white shirt and BLUE Higher Heel Shoes.. I looked at her and said"Auh No". Go put on the white sandals I bought you. She says to me, I don't want to wear them, they are "around the house shoes". I say- Really ? They are brand new white sandals. Ok well I wanna wear these.. See the thing is- when her mom is around her mom likes to wear high heels and short skirts ( even to court ). So she sees it as what a girl should wear.. Once again - " Auh No " Geez what the hell am I going to do? She's only 8 !!! OOh and don't think I don't know about the "taking clothes to school in the back pack that they know damn well they cant wear scam" I know all about it.. This is going to be fun..Needless to say, I went back upstairs 10 minutes later and she had completely changed her outfit. That was fine by me : ) Ohh the next 10 years is going to be fun.. : )

Quote for the Day..

I know a bank where the wild thyme blows,Where oxlips and the nodding violet grows,Quite over-canopied with luscious woodbine,With sweet musk-roses and with eglantine. A Midsummer Night’s Dream Quote. Act ii. Scene.1

My Arm

Man my freckin arm hurts- who's brilliant idea was it to put a nail in the inside of a kitchen cabinet- Ok, I understand it to hang a towel on- I got it- BUT- My clumsy ass can get hurt in a padded cell.. Oh yeah-There I was- putting pots in a cabinet- Ok, so I kinda throw them in the cabinet- All the sudden SCRATCH- A scratch from hell that went into the top layer of my skin- right below my wrist- of course I'm right handed so I have to move my hand and wrist all day- And it HURTS !!! So, please, if you decide to sell your house and have freckin 20ft nails in your cabinets- please for the love of god, move them in case someone like me buys your house- Thank You- This had been a blonde annoucement. p.s. I dont think my sister has heard enough about this- so I'm making her read about it- hee hee

Quote for the day...

"Conscience is but a word that cowards use, devised at first to keep the strong in awe". Richard III Quote (Act V, Scene III).

Karma.

Karma- Otherwise known as " What comes around goes around". I believe in karma whole heartedly. I have in my 33 years on earth seen it in action . Lets take for example cheaters. I have had my own up close and personal experience with them in the form of x- husbands and an x- boyfriend.I truly believe that when we set out to hurt someone else, either by words or actions, we create a black mark if you will. This mark eventually comes back to haunt us. My x-husband is now miserable in his marriage- he married who he was cheating on me with.. My x- boyfriend leads a shallow shellfish existence, that to me is pathetic and hollow..Or lets take one of my best friends husbands, he hurt her for 10 years, the lies and deceit have been unreal. Now, he is going to lose everything including his family.. Weather you believe in a higher power or powers. Trust me. It will come back to you. BUT- boys and girls there is good news- Good things come back to you as well. We may not see it at the time or even realize it until years later. but- it happens. So- The lesson for the day is - Think about your intentions before you act- you could hurt someone- and if you do- you will never be prepared for the consequences.

After a Long Nite of Partying....

My"Sunken Cheek Pose "

Ms. "Bille"

My family and I met Ms. Billie yesterday. We all went to I-hop to eat last nite, me, M,and H.. Upon leaving, my husband is stopped by a very frail women outside the door. She was ooh around 75 years old. Now, while Im inside paying for the check, my daughter comes back in and says"daddy went to help an old lady get gas". Humm I say.. Now, this really doesn't suprise me, I have been a senior citizen magnet for quite some time now. Now it seems my husband is as well.This is probably the 5th or 6th incident involving older people since I have met my husband. Once, an older lady came to my door and asked me to help her put her bra on,she was very disoriented and confused, she lived 3 houses down, and needed help. ..Then later that same week, Im leaving Walgreens, and a little old lady approaches my car asks me for a ride home, her sister didn't show up so she wanted to give me a dollar to take her home.. Of course I took her home, and didn't take the dollar. Then there's Bille. The funny thing is, like my husband says- its funny that she even approached him for help. See- he doesn't look like a choir boy by any means. He has tatoos, earrings, you name it. Yet- she choose him. Don't get me wrong, if I where 75 I would definitely want him to help me. He has a huge heart, I was touched while observing how he talked to her and tried to comfort her. He kept calling her sweetheart. She even asked him to drive her home, handed him her wallet, money, her keys..Its almost like she knew.. This brings me to two points.. I learned a huge lesson yesterday- I wanted to hurry, hurry and eat so we could get home so I could see the end of a stupid show. I was irritated that the food took so long..I was wanting just go home! Then came Bille- She taught me that the stupid T.V. show could wait. There was no way in hell we where going to leave this women by herself in the parking lot of I-Hop. It really taught me that- REALLY- there are more important things in life. I mean- we where all there for a reason.Thank God my husband helped her, thank god we where there, otherwise, there is no telling what could have happened to her.Unfortunatley, there are many people in the world that would have taken advantage of her. The other point is this- I get soo pissed when it comes to the way we treat our senior citizens. Maybe thats why I have become a beacon to them, they seek me out- I don't know-I feel blessed to be able to help- Maybe I'm missing my calling? Maybe I should volunteer at a retirement home? I'll have to look into that- I know they would love my husband.. Until next time..or the next encounter.. : )