Questionnaire...

Ok, so I sent a silly how well do you know me??? Email to my Mom's boyfriend.. His responses made me laugh so hard- I had to share them.. To know Mike is to love him.. Enjoy: My Name is SWEETIE PIE. This is how well I know Deana We met at markie's house on Easter. I would guess your middle name is Kay, because you look like Danny Kaye. You only believe in God during extreme emergencies. During all other times you worship the Magic penis. I have known you entirely too long. Yes you smoke as well as burn. I think we all do. My first impression of you is exactly the same as my last impression of you. Since you are the stepchild you are EVERYONE'S WORST NIGHTMARE when you are mad, and a joy when you are happy. The eye in the back of your head is green, while the eye in the front of your head is hazel. Yes you have many siblings, but you just don't know all of them. One of your favorite things to do is to bust balls. You are very good at it, and I believe you may have earned an honorary PHD. The first thing you said to me is that Michael was a crummy name because of your many previous husbands had the same name. In truth you came to realize that all Michaels are great. You pretend that you like hip hop, but you really love country music because because all your ex's live in Texas. You have so many good features that it is absolutely impossible to come up with the best one. Thank God one of my best features is being able to blow smoke up someone's ass when need be. You are as shy as Kozmo when he humps his bed. Rebels often ask their friends if they are a Deana or do they follow the rules. My favorite memory of you was the poster I made of you sticking out your tongue asking golfers if you could clean their balls. As far as special talents, only Marty and perhaps your previous 9 husbands know for sure. Friends are often a pain in the ass so I guess you are a friend. Deaner Deaner the wiener cleaner is the only nickname that fits according to members of the family. If we were stranded on a desert island you would have to bring a boat so I could get the hell out of there.